Why do men go to a brothel? What do men really like about sex with a prostitute? Our expert explains what men lack, and why they have fun with representatives of the oldest profession.

Whether it’s a brothel or a street prostitute, there are many places where men can buy sex. And many do. But why do men become lovers of paid sex? Do men who go to brothels have a sexual disorder, or are they perhaps unable to connect with regular women? How can I know if my partner is having sex with a prostitute and what can I do about it?

Relationship expert and psychologist Dominic Bord answers the most common questions women have on the subject. Here’s the answer: because men want to have sex anytime, anywhere! “Ideally, without any effort or commitment and, if possible, quickly and easily,” many women will think. I know from my counseling practice that it’s not that easy with men.

But: Very few men only want to satisfy their lust with a prostitute!

So why…?

For some single men, visiting a brothel is an emergency solution to replace an absent partner. An uncomplicated process, clear boundaries and a quick deal are frequent reasons men go to a brothel.

Another important reason is confidentiality. First of all celebrities, but also quite “normal” men do not want to be seen in public, and informed their wife. But it’s not just about the sex act itself.

All of the countless men sitting on my couch wanted more than just sex! Most of all, they complained about losing the ability to inspire their partner and arouse passion in her, to make her horny and thus feel like a real man. The feeling of realizing their masculinity is enjoyed by gentlemen much more than sex itself. This is why masturbation alone is not enough for many men.

Many men want to feel more powerful and desirable, so they pay a prostitute. Also, men don’t always know how to discuss sexual desires with their partner and how to fulfill them in a relationship. A man who categorizes his erotic fantasies as perverted or feels remorse towards his woman is more likely to go to a brothel.

Why then do they become regular customers?

There are many reasons for this. Obviously, the men who continue to go to the brothel enjoyed their last visit. They feel cared for, the atmosphere is pleasant and, most importantly, the women are interested in them! Even if the picture is misleading and that fantasy is included in the price, it’s still nice! The man is important, he’s in charge, desirable and feels masculine.

It is for these reasons that ladies of low social responsibility do not offer just sex, but rather “develop” a scenario that mimics an everyday erotic situation:

A man talks to a woman at a bar, she listens intently, blinks, touches her hair and laughs at his jokes. The first “acquaintance” is followed by the first touch, by which she demonstrates that she is attracted to him, soon afterwards they have sex. In essence, the perfect one-night stand, if you take away the moment of payment. But for many men, the price is worth it.

Love in a brothel?

Another motive many return to the brothel again and again is the very emotion that is initially avoided: romance and falling in love. It happens that a client falls in love with a prostitute and takes it upon himself to “rescue” her.

Is visiting a brothel considered pathological behavior?

Studies show that every man, regardless of age, outlook, education or social status, can become a fan of intimate services. There is no prototypical brothel-goer who can be unmasked by any trait. From a truck driver to a top executive, from a lonely hermit to a father with many children. Every man can become a client, but not everyone automatically becomes one.

By no means can visiting a lady of love be classified as pathological behavior. However, if he no longer has an emotional connection with a “normal” woman, or if he can only live a paid sex life, a consultation with a psychologist or psychotherapist is necessary.

How do you find out if a man goes to a brothel?

It is usually relatively difficult for a wife to tell if her husband is a brothel-goer, because there are no clear signs. But there are some clues:

• No compromising text messages, romantic feelings or suspicious changes in behavior. However, the amount of work stuff increases closer to nighttime, especially on weekdays, so it may be worth paying close attention to this situation.
• Many prostitutes talk about Thursday nights as the busiest day of the week, while on weekends most men want to spend time with their families.
• If the distance between two spouses increases, and at the same time the sexual interest in each other decreases, visits to brothels become more likely.
• Most men carefully conceal their visits from their wives so as not to hurt her, and, on the other hand, so as not to make themselves look like the “wrong” person.
• Most women are of the opinion that their partner’s brothel visits are not an affair or adultery. That said, most women are upset and hurt when they find out that their partner goes to prostitutes. The less confident a woman is, the more likely she is to consider brothel competition.